Here we go!
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1) New York Rangers vs. (8) Ottawa Senators
The Rangers come into the playoffs as the East's top team, a perch they've been on since early January. They narrowly missed out on winning the President's Trophy for most points, and at times have been an absolute juggernaut, posting several long win streaks but few losing skids of more than two or three games. It'll be interesting to see what they do now that the pressure's on, and how far Coach Torts will be able to berate them.
The Senators are a curious case. Seemingly locked into seventh place for weeks they seemed destined for a matchup with division rival Boston, until went on a little bit of a cold streak late in the season and slipped to the conference's final spot. They'd seem like easy pickin's for New York, except that they took 3 out of 4 games from the Blueshirts this season...and with their speed, they can put up points on anybody. In what was supposed to be a rebuilding year, Ottawa is playing with house money... and if the Rangers tighten up, the Sens will be there to knock them off. Senators in seven.
(2) Boston Bruins vs. (7) Washington Capitals
The Bruins opened their defense of last spring's Stanley Cup win by trotting the Cup out once again, to skate around the ice before the home crowd in Boston. A nice gesture, sure, but one that seemed to imply that they didn't think they'd be getting another shot at it anytime soon. Their start bore that out with a miserable October. Then they suddenly caught fire, and seemed like world-beaters in December before settling into a decent, if occasionally inconsistent finish.
It's been a disastrous season for the Capitals, one that began with great promise but quickly crashed to earth. Wildly inconsistent all year, it seemed at times like the team had given up and would be content...happy, even...to miss the postseason entirely. Yet here they are with, suddenly, no expectations.
For all of Washington's still-indecendiary offensive talent, a series against the Bruins is going to come down to toughness, which is something the Caps sorely lack. It's hard to imagine the Caps being able to withstand being knocked around by the big bad Bruins.
It's been a disastrous season for the Capitals, one that began with great promise but quickly crashed to earth. Wildly inconsistent all year, it seemed at times like the team had given up and would be content...happy, even...to miss the postseason entirely. Yet here they are with, suddenly, no expectations.
For all of Washington's still-indecendiary offensive talent, a series against the Bruins is going to come down to toughness, which is something the Caps sorely lack. It's hard to imagine the Caps being able to withstand being knocked around by the big bad Bruins.
If I'm the Capitals, I do everything in my power to get President Obama to each game and drop the ceremonial first puck in hopes of psyching out Tim Thomas. Even that probably wouldn't work. Bruins in six.
(3) Florida Panthers vs. (6) New Jersey Devils
By the end of the regular season it seemed like the Panthers were actively trying to lose the Southeast Division lead they held all year, losing six in a row before finally beating Carolina to clinch the third seed. They seem just happy to be here, an impression I'd run by the fans of the team if I'd ever met one.
The Devils are maybe the smartest team in the NHL, doing (or not doing) just enough to sit in that sixth spot, knowing they'd get to play the Southleast Division winner for an easy trip to the second round. You can never tell with the Devils in the playoffs, though...if anyone could blow this, it's them. Devils in five.
The Devils are maybe the smartest team in the NHL, doing (or not doing) just enough to sit in that sixth spot, knowing they'd get to play the Southleast Division winner for an easy trip to the second round. You can never tell with the Devils in the playoffs, though...if anyone could blow this, it's them. Devils in five.
(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) Philadelphia Flyers
What really deserves to be the Eastern Conference Finals is somehow an opening round matchup – Flyers versus Penguins, the Battle of Pennsylvania.
Trying to be objective, I look to the goaltending. The Flyers, seemingly bent on proving to the world that Ilya Bryzgalov was worth the dump truck full of money they gave him this past summer, plan to start him in goal for the series opener, over the undefeated-in-Pittsburgh Sergei Bobrovsky. As a Penguins fan, one of the things I look forward to most every spring is seeing how the Flyers botch their goaltending situation, and this has all the potential to mark the season premiere of my favorite April sitcom.
The Penguins...finally... have everything, and more importantly, everybody, going for them. Everyone's healthy, everyone's contributing. Power play producing, penalty kill killing. Geno Malkin is otherworldly, and those guys named Crosby and Staal aren't too bad either. If the blue line can tighten up and make life just a tiny bit easier for Marc-Andre Fleury...and if the Pens can resist getting instigated into scrapes with all the rats in the Flyers lineup...they should have what it takes to win this war of attrition.
The Penguins...finally... have everything, and more importantly, everybody, going for them. Everyone's healthy, everyone's contributing. Power play producing, penalty kill killing. Geno Malkin is otherworldly, and those guys named Crosby and Staal aren't too bad either. If the blue line can tighten up and make life just a tiny bit easier for Marc-Andre Fleury...and if the Pens can resist getting instigated into scrapes with all the rats in the Flyers lineup...they should have what it takes to win this war of attrition.
The thought that Philly and elderly, pathetic drama queen Jaromir Jagr could skate away with this series just fills me with too much angst to even consider, so I'll take the Penguins in six... though even two losses might cost the TV.
Now on to the contest...
The ATOM-BOMB BIKINI PLAYOFF CHALLENGE
Simple rules...pick the final four teams you think will be left standing, the conference champions, and the eventual Stanley Cup winner. One point will be awarded for each correct final four pick, two for each final two pick, and three for picking the champion. Whoever has the most points come the second week of June will be the big winner!
Here's what you're playing for: The big winner will receive a custom piece of original artwork of a pinup girl wearing the jersey of his or her favorite team, along with a copy of the Atom-Bomb Bikini hardcover book, a copy of Old-Timey Hockey Tales, and a pack of Atom-Bomb stickers, a signed "Hockey Socks & Skates" print by Katie Sekelsky and a free t-shirt of your choice from the wonderful folks at Original Retro Brand! Two runners-up will receive just the books and stickers. In case of a tie, I'll put all the names in a hat and select a winner at random.
Here's how you enter: Write your picks in the comments section of this here blog post. Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not in an email, but in the comments section of this post. Please remember to check back as the playoffs progress...I'll post the winner's names here, and at that time I'll look to get in contact with you. Got it? Got it! Good luck!
Finally...
CRASS COMMERCIALISM DEPT: All of the original, hand-drawn art for the Stanley Cup pinup girls is available at my Etsy store...and if you'd like to go the extra mile and get a personalized, one-of-a-kind uni-girl illustration of your very own to your exact specifications, that information can be found here.
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